Home... Never ever leave you again. <3

I always over confident and told to my friend to get the best result for my degree level studies. Putting so much of expectation and hopes before I came to the places that are only belong to Caucasians and Europeans. 

Landed, unbelievable when stepped on the floor. Saw the people with blond hair, talked with British English with their conversations. Yeah, this was all the dream that I've been dreaming of however, I will never better than them, gave up myself when knowing this is all the task and mission that I must overcome. 

I will remained silence even though they repeats trampled on me.. Sad and disappointed about all the story that really does happened on me and I can't do anything to console myself. Being so speechless ever since I'm here.. No friends are around me. No more... 

Suffering from examination and coursework last few months. 

Been giving myself so much excuses to stop my pace," I'm not going to move on, I need to stop right there. Just give up.. Stumbling rocks everywhere". Hurt my loved ones and I know they will not give up on me even though I disappoint them. 

Been sacrificed so much of time to spend on my revision yet wasted the time just like opened the water pipes and let the water streamed endlessly. 

Tried to study as much as possible before entering the exam hall. This is what we called death throes. prayed for so many times before entering the exam hall.

Crying for the papers when returned to my room. Scolding and regret on myself that not doing my best during the examinations and blamed everything that I ever could.

Recently, prayed hard and hoped for the best outcome of my test results, but just feel too worried on everything. Talk to my loved ones with thorns and hurt them (...The evil of sarcasm). Please accept my apologies on hurting you and condemn me if you really do.

But yes, with blessing of God. Now, have so much of freedom and will summon back to my home sweet home. My parent, that I can't wait to see them, my sister that willing to be my listeners and hear all ridiculous thingy... And the very last... friends.. I've been waiting for months to share my experiences with you. Yes you, I mean you.. 

Now then, I'm happy and able to say,"I'm officially graduate". No more books or journals that will haunt me for years.. I am what I am. 

You had my blessing if you read this... :)

God bless.